October 10, 2022
Monninger (Margaret from Maine) recounts his battle with terminal Stage 4 lung cancer in this meditative memoir. After 32 years of teaching college classes, Monninger and his partner were planning to retire and renovate a cottage in Maine when a CT scan confirmed he had inoperable cancer. Monninger’s subsequent treatment involved living with a lung catheter to drain fluids and skipping chemotherapy to try an expensive new drug called Tagrisso, which promised a better chance of remission. Eventually, Monninger’s condition stabilized, which prompted him to reconsider his life. “I was still a ghost of myself... but the world still delighted me,” he writes. He alternates between accounts of doctor’s appointments and contemplative days at home, sprinkling literary references throughout. (When thinking about the long-term effects of Tagrisso, Monninger is reminded of Flowers for Algernon, specifically the story’s discussion of administering a treatment that loses its efficacy over time.) The author is as at home recalling decisive medical conversations as he is when considering questions that arise in the wake of a terminal diagnosis, such as burial options and accepting the “quiet thing” of death. But Monninger, who is still alive, avoids raw emotionality. The result is a frank yet distanced self-exploration. Agent: Christina Hogrebe, Jane Rotrosen.
Starred review from February 1, 2023
A life lived--and savored--in the shadow of a fatal disease. Three days after retirement, Monninger--a prolific novelist, professor of English, and avid outdoorsman--was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Lucky enough to qualify for a new drug treatment that promised to hold off the disease's inevitable progression, he devoted himself to thinking and writing about what mattered most to him. This memoir records the results of the first year of that journey, offering "an appreciation of what makes life worth living, and how a cancer diagnosis is both earth-shaking and, simultaneously, merely a part of the everyday." Particularly striking are the author's reflections on the difficulties of acknowledging one's mortality even at an advanced age; the awe one must feel at the sophistication of modern medical interventions; the intractable fear one must confront after becoming dependent on others and losing a sense of dignity; and the detachment from trivial concerns that comes with facing death. Monninger's frankness in detailing his vulnerabilities as a cancer patient and humor in framing some of the frustrations that arise as one loses physical autonomy are memorable and inspiring. Also notable are the descriptions of where the author took comfort as he struggled with moments of acute panic and more routine anxiety--e.g., in simple conversations with loved ones, experiencing the diverse beauty of the natural world, and immersing himself in books. In unassuming yet convincing terms, the author also conveys the important message that "cancer does not bring any particular clarity about life...no big, shining lesson"--though it may, as it did for Monninger, intensify the desire to understand and make peace with one's ultimate commitments. This brief but incisive record of survival is all the more compelling for that humility. A poignant, instructive account of reckoning with a terminal illness.
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